PART 1 - What happened?
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| Getting ready to get in the ambulance in Bellingham.
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Some days come and go without leaving a lasting impression, while others completely change the course of your life. Monday, June 24th was the latter for my family and I.
Our life was turned upside down the Thursday before when we went in for a routine 24-week growth ultrasound. Twin ultrasounds take a long time, so Geoff headed to work as we were wrapping up. At the end, I was sat down and told that I needed to go directly to the childbirth center in Bellingham because my cervix had thinned drastically since my last ultrasound just 4 weeks earlier. I called Geoff in hysterics and told he needed to come back. When I got there, the nurses told me that my life was about to change.
They were calling a specialized ambulance that could deliver babies to transport me down the Seattle. At this point, I was still not comprehending why this was all happening because I felt totally normal. In fact, I was at the gym earlier that morning and felt great.
As I sat in the ambulance, staring out the window, I knew everything was about to change. I tried not to go through every horrible scenario in my head, but how can you not when you are in that situation.
When we arrived at Swedish Medical Center, my mom waiting for me in the hallway. She was scared. I was scared.
Minutes later, they checked my cervix and it had thinned to 1 cm and I was 1 cm dilated. Even though that sounds scary, they weren’t too nervous that I was going to go into labor right away. Now it was just a waiting game to see what my body did. They made the plan to have another check again on Saturday and they would monitor the babies and I until then.
I tried to stay calm during those two long days, but I was really scared. All I wanted was for the boys to stay in there. I knew I could handle anything, but the last thing I wanted was for my tiny babies to be fighting for their lives.
On Saturday, the results were the same but they did not want to send me home or to a friend’s house in Seattle until they saw that things didn’t change after walking a little more to simulate being at home. The hospital in Bellingham cannot care for babies under 35 weeks, so I began making plans to stay in Seattle long-term. My hopes were high because I felt totally normal. No contractions, no pain, or anything that felt like labor.
On Monday, the doctor came in the check me and I knew it wasn’t good when I saw her brace herself before she delivered the news. I was 4 cm dilated.
She broke the news that she was fearful that I may meet my babies that day. Before the whole team of nurses and doctors flooded my small hospital room, I called Geoff and told him he needed to get back to Seattle.
The next hour is a complete blur. One nurse put another IV in my arm and they restarted magnesium to help calm my body down and to protect the boy’s brains if I were to deliver. The surgeon came in and went through all my delivery options. Since Elan was transverse, she explained that there was a good chance he was going to get hurt if we tried to deliver vaginally.
When Geoff got there, everyone gave us a minute. All I remember is looking at him and seeing the fear and confusion I was feeling. I just kept asking myself why is this happening? The unknown was the worst part. All the doctors had reassured me that there was nothing I did to cause this and there was nothing I could do to stop it. That was hard for me to settle with. My kids were about to be forced into the world because of bad luck. That felt really unfair.
A little while later, they checked my cervix again with the hope it was stabilizing. It was not. Now I was 5-6 cm dilated.
The surgeon came back in and explained that we were going to meet our boys that day whether we were ready or not. While delivering this news, she looked at me completely confused. She wanted to confirm that my cervix was actually 5-6 centimeters dilated because I was showing no signs of labor. She said that typically moms are writhing in pain at this point, but I felt nothing. No contractions. No pain.
She confirmed that I was in fact 5-6 centimeters dilated, so we really did not have a choice. They were sending in the team to prep me for a cesarean section because there was no way I was chancing it with a vaginal birth. Minutes later, we were being wheeled down to the operating room.
Our life was turned upside down the Thursday before when we went in for a routine 24-week growth ultrasound. Twin ultrasounds take a long time, so Geoff headed to work as we were wrapping up. At the end, I was sat down and told that I needed to go directly to the childbirth center in Bellingham because my cervix had thinned drastically since my last ultrasound just 4 weeks earlier. I called Geoff in hysterics and told he needed to come back. When I got there, the nurses told me that my life was about to change.
They were calling a specialized ambulance that could deliver babies to transport me down the Seattle. At this point, I was still not comprehending why this was all happening because I felt totally normal. In fact, I was at the gym earlier that morning and felt great.
As I sat in the ambulance, staring out the window, I knew everything was about to change. I tried not to go through every horrible scenario in my head, but how can you not when you are in that situation.
When we arrived at Swedish Medical Center, my mom waiting for me in the hallway. She was scared. I was scared.
Minutes later, they checked my cervix and it had thinned to 1 cm and I was 1 cm dilated. Even though that sounds scary, they weren’t too nervous that I was going to go into labor right away. Now it was just a waiting game to see what my body did. They made the plan to have another check again on Saturday and they would monitor the babies and I until then.
I tried to stay calm during those two long days, but I was really scared. All I wanted was for the boys to stay in there. I knew I could handle anything, but the last thing I wanted was for my tiny babies to be fighting for their lives.
On Saturday, the results were the same but they did not want to send me home or to a friend’s house in Seattle until they saw that things didn’t change after walking a little more to simulate being at home. The hospital in Bellingham cannot care for babies under 35 weeks, so I began making plans to stay in Seattle long-term. My hopes were high because I felt totally normal. No contractions, no pain, or anything that felt like labor.
On Monday, the doctor came in the check me and I knew it wasn’t good when I saw her brace herself before she delivered the news. I was 4 cm dilated.
She broke the news that she was fearful that I may meet my babies that day. Before the whole team of nurses and doctors flooded my small hospital room, I called Geoff and told him he needed to get back to Seattle.
The next hour is a complete blur. One nurse put another IV in my arm and they restarted magnesium to help calm my body down and to protect the boy’s brains if I were to deliver. The surgeon came in and went through all my delivery options. Since Elan was transverse, she explained that there was a good chance he was going to get hurt if we tried to deliver vaginally.
When Geoff got there, everyone gave us a minute. All I remember is looking at him and seeing the fear and confusion I was feeling. I just kept asking myself why is this happening? The unknown was the worst part. All the doctors had reassured me that there was nothing I did to cause this and there was nothing I could do to stop it. That was hard for me to settle with. My kids were about to be forced into the world because of bad luck. That felt really unfair.
A little while later, they checked my cervix again with the hope it was stabilizing. It was not. Now I was 5-6 cm dilated.
The surgeon came back in and explained that we were going to meet our boys that day whether we were ready or not. While delivering this news, she looked at me completely confused. She wanted to confirm that my cervix was actually 5-6 centimeters dilated because I was showing no signs of labor. She said that typically moms are writhing in pain at this point, but I felt nothing. No contractions. No pain.
She confirmed that I was in fact 5-6 centimeters dilated, so we really did not have a choice. They were sending in the team to prep me for a cesarean section because there was no way I was chancing it with a vaginal birth. Minutes later, we were being wheeled down to the operating room.
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