PART 2 - What happened?

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Meeting Quin for the first time
Meeting Elan for the first time

Hand hug with Quin
Elan
Elan

At 1:39 Quin was born and just a minute later Elan was born. As you might be able to tell from the pictures, I was trying very hard to be happy in this moment, but I was completely terrified. I had no idea if my boys would be okay. They were so little.

 Quin:
  • Weight: 1 lb 9 oz
  • Length: 11 3/4 inches
Elan: 
  • Weight: 1 lb 11 oz
  • Length: 12 1/2 inches
Quin showed his spirited personality during his first moment of life by peeing all over me. Typically one would not be thrilled by this, but in that moment I was just happy to know that he was alive and functioning.

 At this early of gestation, they cannot breath on their own, so the NICU doctors and nurses immediately hooked them on life support. Then put the boys in a transport incubator and took them up to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit or NICU. It will be their new home for the next several months.

 Even though I was absolutely terrified, I felt comfort in knowing that we were in the best possible place. My surgeon was incredible and I had complete confidence in her ability to get my boys out safely. Each boy had four doctors and nurses waiting for them. The Anesthesiologist even offered to take photos for us, which I am so grateful to have. He also took some of the boys actually coming out, but I will save you from those.

 After surgery, I spent the next two hours in a recovery room. The mood in this room was somber. My mom, dad, Geoff, and I were trying to find happiness, but fear and worry consumed us all. This has been one of the hardest things to settle with. Typically, the birth of your children should be one of the happiest days of your life, but I didn't feel happy. How could I be happy?

 I can't explain the helplessness I felt seeing both my boys squirming around in their little incubators for the first time. It was reassuring to see that they were perfect little humans, they were just tiny.
One moment I will never forget during that first visit was when my dad came running over to tell us that Elan had just raised his hand high in the air and it looked like he was waving at his Papa.  My dad's middle name is Edward and that name has a lot of meaning in my family. If there was ever a sign that one of the two boys would take that family name this was it.  Before we had his first name picked my mom nicknamed Elan "Bruiser".  It seemed to fit his personality just like his Papa.  He got this nickname because in the ultrasounds we thought he was kicking poor little Quin down to the bottom of my stomach. Quin was head down with his feet pointing straight up on my left side, whereas, Elan was transverse with his head on my right side, so their feet were together and spent a lot of their time kicking each other. Though, now we have learned Quin might actually be the feistier brother, so maybe we were mistaken and Elan's kicking was out of self defense! We will never know for sure, but it is pretty cool to see how much personality our boys already have. They are plucky little fighters who are not giving up. I absolutely hate that they have to go through this, but I am so proud of their feisty spirits. 
     

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